"Dogs are not our whole lives, but they make our lives whole."
---Albert Einstein
buGG'z Motto
These are my pets
I love them best.
This is their home.
You are the guest.
So if you should find
My pets a peeve,
Then by all means,
Feel free to leave
(author unknown)
TONS OF DOGGY INFO
Click on the above link to visit a page I created with TONS of great doggy info!
A Dog's Bill Of Rights
1. We have the right to be full members of your family. We thrive on social
interaction, praise, and love.
2. We have the right to stimulation. We need new games, new toys, new
experiences, and new smells to be happy.
3. We have the right to regular exercise. Without it, we could become hyper,
sluggish...or fat.
4. We have the right to have fun. We enjoy acting like clowns now and then;
don't expect us to be predictable all the time.
5. We have the right to quality health care. Please stay good friends with our vet!
6. We have the right to a good diet. Like some people, we don't know what's
best for us. We depend on you.
7. We have the right not to be rejected because of your expectations that we
be great show dogs or show cats, watchdogs, hunters, or baby-sitters.
8. We have the right to receive proper training. Otherwise, our good relationship
could be marred by confusion and strife - and we could become dangerous to
ourselves and others.
9. We have the right to guidance and correction based on understanding and
compassion, rather than abuse.
10. We have the right to live with dignity...and to die with dignity when the time comes.
A Dog's Prayer
Treat me kindly, my beloved friend, for no heart in all the world is more
grateful for kindness than the loving heart of me.
Do not break my spirit with a stick, for though I should lick your hand between blows,
your patience and understanding will more quickly teach me the things you
would have me learn.
Speak to me often, for your voice is the world's sweetest music,
as you must know by the fierce wagging of my tail when your footstep
falls upon my waiting ear.
Please take me inside when it is cold and wet, for I am a domesticated animal,
no longer accustomed to bitter elements.
I ask no greater glory than the privilege of sitting at your feet beside the hearth.
Keep my pan filled with fresh water, for I cannot tell you when I suffer thirst.
Feed me clean food that I may stay well, to romp and play and do your bidding,
to walk by your side and stand ready, willing and able to protect you with my life,
should your life be in danger.
And, my friend, when I am very old, and I no longer enjoy good health, hearing and sight,
do not make heroic efforts to keep me going. I am not having any fun.
Please see that my trusting life is taken gently. I shall leave this earth
knowing with the last breath I draw that my fate was always safest in your hands.
Author Unknown
oh man, these made me sad but they are so true! ---buGG
The Ten Commandmends of Dog Ownership
1. My life is likely to last 10 to 15 years. Any separation from you will be painful for me.
2. Give me time to understand what you want from me.
3. Place your trust in me - it's crucial to my well being.
4. Don't be angry at me for long, and don't lock me up as punishment.
You have your entertainment, your work, and your friends. I only have you.
5. Talk to me sometimes. Even if I don't understand your words, I do understand
your voice when it's speaking to me.
6. Be aware that however you treat me, I'll never forget.
7. Remember before you hit me that I have teeth that could easily crush the
bones of your hand, but I choose not to bite.
8. Before you scold me for being uncooperative, lazy, or obsinate, askyourself
if something might be bothering me. Perhaps I'm not getting the right food, or
I've been out in the sun too long, or my heart is getting old and weak.
9. Take care of me when I get old; you too will grow old.
10. Go with me on difficult journeys. Never say I can't bear to watch it or let
it happen in my absence. Everything is easier for me if you are there.
Remember, I love you...
Ways the US Would Be Different If the Next President Were a Dog
As presented on the July 8, 1994 (7/8/94) broadcast of LATE SHOW with DAVID LETTERMAN
10. Doggy door on oval office
9. At press conferences, instead of "Mr. President," reporters would shout, "Here fella!"
8. Goodbye Whitewater scandal, hello toilet bowl water scandal
7. Washington Monument replaced with hundred-story fire hydrant
6. U.S. might have more coherent foreign policy
5. Public enemy #1: That neutering bastard Bob Barker
4. Secret service and CIA dispatched to catch that little chuck wagon
3. Country really run by dog's smarter poodle wife
2. Here's your new national anthem: (videotape of dog barking x-mas jingle)
1. One word: sausage-gate
Things We Can Learn From a Dog
1. Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
2. Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
3. When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
4. When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.
5. Let others know when they've invaded your territory.
6. Take naps and stretch before rising.
7. Run, romp and play daily.
8. Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.
9. Be loyal.
10. Never pretend to be something you're not.
11. If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
12. When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit nearby and nuzzle him or her gently.
13. Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
14. Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
15. When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body
. 16. No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout. Run right back and make friends.
17. Delight in the simple joys of a long walk.
BASIC DOG RULES
NEWSPAPERS: If you have to go to the bathroom while playing in the front yard,
always use the newspaper that's placed in the driveway every morning for that purpose.
VISITORS: Quickly determine which guest is afraid of dogs. Charge across the room,
barking loudly and leap playfully on this person. If the human falls down on the
floor and starts crying, lick its face and growl gently to show your concern.
BARKING: Because you are a dog, you are expected to bark. So bark--- a lot.
Your owners will be very happy to hear you protecting their house. Especially
late at night while they are sleeping safely in their beds. There is no more
secure feeling for a human than to keep waking up in the middle of the night
and hearing your protective bark, bark, bark...
LICKING: Always take a BIG drink from your water dish immediately before
licking your human. Humans prefer clean tongues. Be ready to fetch your human a towel.
HOLES: Rather than digging a BIG hole in the middle of the yard and upsetting
your human, dig a lot of smaller holes all over the yard so they won't notice.
If you arrange a little pile of dirt on one side of each hole, maybe they'll
think it's gophers. There are never enough holes in the ground. Strive daily
to do your part to help correct this problem.
DOORS: The area directly in front of a door is always reserved for the family dog to sleep.
THE ART OF SNIFFING: Humans like to be sniffed. Everywhere. It is your duty,
as the family dog, to accommodate them.
DINING ETIQUETTE: Always sit under the table at dinner, especially when there
are guests, so you can clean up any food that falls on the floor. It's also a
good time to practice your sniffing.
HOUSEBREAKING: Housebreaking is very important to humans, so break as much of
the house as possible.
GOING FOR WALKS: Rules of the road: When out for a walk with your master or
mistress, never go to the bathroom on your own lawn.
COUCHES: It is perfectly permissible to lie on the new couch after all your
humans have gone to bed.
PLAYING: If you lose your footing while chasing a ball or stick, use the
flower bed to absorb your fall so you don't injure yourself.
CHASING CATS: When chasing cats, make sure you never--- quite--- catch them.
It spoils all the fun.
CHEWING: Make a contribution to the fashion industry . ...Eat a shoe.
Does Your Dog Own You?
See how many of these statements apply to you and your dog.
------ You believe every dog is a lap dog.
----- If you are cold, you put a sweater on your dog.
----- You have a picture of your dog in your wallet, but not one of your kids.
----- You often claim that it was love at first sight with you and your dog.
----- You have your dog talk to your friends on the phone.
----- You can't fully enjoy yourself without your dog.
----- No matter how large your bed is, it is not large enough for you and your dog(s).
----- You spend more on clothes and food for your dog than you do for yourself.
----- You have no reservations about kissing your dog on the lips, even when you
know where his lips have been.
----- You believe it is your duty to talk to, pat, and even feed every dog
in the neighborhood. You know their names.
----- You let the neighbor dog sleep over.
----- You believe there is no such thing as a naughty dog.
----- Your vet and grooming bills exceed your rent.
----- When you need someone to talk to, your dog is your first choice.
----- You sit on the floor if the dog got in the chair first.
----- You talk to your dog when you are driving. He answers.
----- Your dog taught you to fetch and roll over.
Top 12 Things Dogs Would Say If They Could Talk
12---But it SMELLS like food.
11---The cat did it.
10---What say we all drive down to Dairy Queen?
9---Explain this 'heat' thing again.
8---Mind if I sit there?
7---You gonna eat ALL of that?
6---I don't smell anything.
5---Could I see the menu?
4---FETCH THIS!
3---Next time, I pick the bitch!
2---This isn't a mess, it's ambiance!
And the number one thing your dog would say:
1---You are going to cut off my WHAT??!!
Author Unknown
MIND GAMES DOGS PLAY WITH HUMANS
After your humans give you a bath, DON'T LET THEM TOWEL DRY YOU! Instead,
run to their bed, jump up and dry yourself off on the sheets. This is
especially good if it's right before your humans bedtime.
Act like a convicted criminal. When the humans come home, put your ears back,
tail between your legs, chin down and act as if you have done something really bad.
Then, watch as the humans frantically search the house for the damage they think
you have caused. (Note: This only works when you have done absolutely nothing wrong.)
Let the humans teach you a brand new trick. Learn it perfectly. Then the humans
try to demonstrate it to someone else, stare blankly back at the humans.
Pretend you have no idea what they're talking about.
Make your humans be patient. When you go outside to go pee, sniff around the
entire yard as your humans wait. Act as if the spot you choose to go pee will
ultimately decide the fate of the earth.
Draw attention to the human. When out for a walk always pick the busiest,
most visible spot to go poop. Take your time and make sure everyone watches.
This works particularly well if your humans have forgotten to bring a plastic bag.
When out for a walk, alternate between choking and coughing every time a strange human walks by.
Make your own rules. Don't always bring back the stick when playing fetch with
the humans. Make them go and chase it once in a while.
Hide from your humans. When your humans come home, don't greet them at the door.
Instead, hide from them, and make them think something terrible has happened to you.
(Don't reappear until one of your humans is panic-stricken and close to tears).
When your human calls you to come back in, always take your time. Walk as slowly
as possible back to the door.
Wake up twenty minutes before the alarm clock is set to go off and make
the humans take you out for your morning pee. As soon as you get back inside,
fall asleep. (Humans can rarely fall back asleep after going outside, this
will drive them nuts!)
Top Ten Signs Your Dog Is More Intelligent Than You
10. Neighbors complain about loud music and howling coming from your apartment
in the middle of the day
9. You find mysterious sculpture of a human (who looks strikingly like you)
on a leash in your living room
8. Ice floating in toilet water
7. Neighborhood cats bring dog treats to your doorstep
6. Friends swear they've seen your car at the local meat-processing plant
5. You can never find the leftovers
4. The remote is covered with slobber, and the TV was left on The Nature Channel
3. The dog doesn't lick itself anymore... now it's the cat's job.
2. Mensa mailings addressed to "Rover"
1. Your apartment keys no longer work
If you can start the day without caffeine or pep pills,
If you can be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food everyday and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when loved ones are too busy to give you time,
If you can overlook when people take things out on you when,
through no fault of yours, something goes wrong,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can face the world without lies and deceit,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
If you can do all these things,
Then you are probably the family dog.
30 REASONS WHY IT'S GREAT TO BE A DOG
1. No one expects you to take a bath every day.
2. Your friends never expect you to pay for lunch, dinner or anything else for that matter.
3. When it's raining, you can lie around the house all day and never worry about being fired.
4. If it itches, you can reach it.
5. And, no matter what itches, no one is offended if you scratch it in public.
6. It doesn't bother you if your favorite television show is a rerun.
7. You can wear a fur coat and no one thinks you're insensitive.
8. April 15 means nothing to you.
9. People at drive-through windows never charge you for treats.
10. Your friends don't think less of you for passing gas.
11. A rawhide bone can entertain you for hours.
12. No one gets mad if you fall asleep while they're talking.
13. As an adult, it's OK if you haven't "amounted to anything" except being a dog.
14. The older you get, the more people respect you.
15. You can sleep late every day.
16. If you grow hair in weird places, no one notices.
17. You never get in trouble for putting your head in a stranger's lap.
18. There's no such thing as bad food.
19. You don't have to worry about good table manners.
20. Someone else combs your hair.
21. People think you're normal if you stick your head out the window to feel the wind in your hair.
22. You're always excited to see the same old people.
23. Having big feet is considered an asset.
24. If you gain weight, it's someone else's fault.
25. Everything smells good to you.
26. A garbage can is a fast-food stop.
27. No one tells you to wipe your nose because it's wet.
28. No matter where you live, you own the place.
29. Your mate never complains because you whine.
30. Puppy love can last.
The Dog's Dictionary
Dog Bed: Any soft, clean surface-such as the white bedspread in the
guest room or the newly upholstered couch in the living room.
Sniff: A social custom to use when you greet other dogs. Place your
nose as close to the other dog's rear end and inhale deeply. Repeat several
times, or until your person makes you stop.
Deafness: A malady which affects dogs when their person wants them
in and they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly, running
in the other direction, or lying down.
Thunder: A signal that the world is coming to an end. Humans remain
amazingly calm during thunderstorms. It is necessary to warn them of the
danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling your eyes wildly, and
following at their heels.
Wastebaskets: A toy filled with paper, tissue, and old candy wrappers.
When you get bored, turn over the basket and strew the trash all over the house.
Sofas: Are to dogs like napkins are to people. After eating, it is
polite to rub up and down the front of the sofa and wipe your whiskers clean.
Bath: A process by which the humans drench the floors, walls, and
themselves. You can help by shaking vigorously and frequently.
Love: A feeling of intense affection, given freely and without restriction.
The best way you can show your love is to wag your tail. If you're lucky,
a human will love you in return.
TOP 14 SUPER POWERS COVETED BY DOGS
14. Invisibath -- The power to disappear at the first sound of bath water
13. ViseHump -- The leg hump grip of steel
12. AquaField -- Immunity to bucket of cold water when copulating in driveway
11. Skeetvision-- The ability to shoot laser beams from your eyes to blast that damn Frisbee out of the sky
10. SuperBladder -- Loaded with Toxi-Urine -- One lift of the leg and this town is mine!
9. SquirrelFreeze
8. AnalTelepathy/ButtSniffery -- Two powers which when combined allow one
to smell another dog's butt without actually having to get up and move around.
7. John-O-Matic -- Turns any toilet bowl into a punch bowl by sheer force of will.
6. ChuckSpeed -- Ability to catch that friggin' Wagon Train.
5. Anti-Psych-Out -- Immunity to all that "fake throw" nonsense.
4. VacuCalm -- Utter self-control whenever the vacuum cleaner is turned on.
3. GucciTract -- An invincible digestive system that sustains itself entirely on designer shoes.
2. King Fido's Touch -- Everything you touch turns into crap
And the #1 Super Power Most Coveted by Dogs...
1. DoberMorph -- Ability to change into a Doberman anytime someone rolls up aŹnewspaper.
New Year's Resolutions (from the dog...)
* I will refrain from chewing on the coffee table no matter how delicious it may taste.
* I will treat the food on the kitchen counter as if it belongs to my humans.
* I will just quietly listen when I hear a dog or a doorbell on TV.
* I will brush my hair before rubbing against my humans' black wool suits.
* I will wait and let others go out the door ahead of me.
* I will lie quietly when someone comes to visit.
* I will clean my paws and face before claiming the bed pillows.
* I will keep my long tail away from table tops.
* I will treat the water bowl as a drinking dish and not a splashing pool.
* I will stay away from the toilet bowl.
* I will resist the strong urge to roll in "dead stuff."
* I will wait until my humans open at least one eye before jumping on them as they lie in bed.
* I will put my bones and toys in my own bed instead of hiding them in the sofa.
* I will chew on my own toys and not on my humans' expensive shoes.
* I will be quiet between the hours of 10:00 p.m. and 10:00 a.m.
* I will eat all my dog food, instead of just the choice bits and pieces.
* I will stay out of the garbage.
* I will wipe my dirty paws before coming in the house.
* I will stay off the good sofa.
* I will keep my toys from going under the sofa, the bed, and the refrigerator.
* I will keep the nose prints off the window.
* I will stay out of the cat's food and litter box.
* I will curl up on my own bed instead of the more comfortable human bed.
* I will resist lunging out of the car window to grab the bag of hamburgers from the McDonald's lady.
* I will pretend to really enjoy being "coochie-cooed" by a stranger.
* I will come immediately when called rather than when I feel like it.
* I will be thankful every minute of the day that I am loved, cherished, and admired by my humans!
The Top 20 Reasons Dogs Do Not Use Computers
20. Can't stick their heads out of Windows '95.
19. Fetch command not available on all platforms.
18. Hard to read the monitor with your head cocked to one side.
17. Too difficult to "mark" every website they visit.
16. Can't help attacking the screen when they hear "You've Got Mail."
15. Fire hydrant icon is very frustrating.
14. Involuntary tail wagging is dead giveaway they're browsing www . pethouse.com instead of working.
13. Keep bruising noses trying to catch that MPEG Frisbee.
12. Not at all fooled by Chuckwagon Screen Saver.
11. Still trying to come up with an "emoticon" that signifies tail-wagging.
10. Oh, but they WILL... with the introduction of the Microsoft Opposable Thumb.
9. Three words: Carpal Paw Syndrome.
8. 'Cause dogs ain't GEEKS! Now, cats, on the other hand...
7. Barking in next cube keeps activating YOUR voice recognition software.
6. SmellU-SmellMe still in beta test.
5. SIT and STAY were hard enough, GREP and AWK are out of the question!
4. Saliva-coated mouse gets mighty difficult to maneuver.
3. Annoyed by lack of newsgroup, alt.pictures.master's.leg.
2. Butt-sniffing more direct and less deceiving than online chat rooms.
and the Number 1 Reason Dogs Do Not Use Computers...
1. TrO{gO DsA[M,bN HyAqR4tDc TgrOo TgYPmE WeIjTyH P;AzWqS,.*
HOLIDAY ETIQUETTE FOR DOGS
1. Be especially patient with your humans during this time. They may appear
to be more stressed-out than usual and they will appreciate long comforting dog leans.
2. They may come home with large bags of things they call gifts. Do not assume
that all the gifts are yours.
3. Be tolerant if your humans put decorations on you. They seem to get
some special kind of pleasure out of seeing how you look with fake antlers.
4. They may bring a large tree into the house and set it up in a prominent
place and cover it with lights and decorations. Bizarre as this may seem to you,
it is an important ritual for your humans, so there are some things you need
to know: Don't pee on the tree - don't drink water in the container that holds
the tree. Mind your tail when you are near the tree-if there are packages
under the tree, even ones that smell interesting or that have your name on
them, don't rip them open - don't chew on the cord that runs from the funny-looking
hole in the wall to the tree
5. Your humans may occasionally invite lots of strangers to come visit
during this season. These parties can be lots of fun, but they also call
for some discretion on your part: Not all strangers appreciate kisses and
leans - don't eat off the buffet table - beg for goodies subtly - be
pleasant, even if unknowing strangers sit on your sofa - don't drink out
of glasses that are left within your reach.
6. Likewise, your humans may take you visiting. Here your manners will also
be important: Observe all the rules in #4 for trees that may be in other
people's houses. Respect the territory of other animals that may live in the
house - tolerate children - turn on your charm big time.
7. A big man with a white beard and a very loud laugh may emerge from your
fireplace in the middle of the night. DON'T BITE HIM!!
YOU KNOW YOU ARE A DOG PERSON WHEN....
You have a kiddie wading pool in the yard, but no small children.
Lintwheels are on your shopping list every week.
You have baby gates permanently installed at strategic places around the house,
but no babies.
The trash basket is more or less permanently installed in the kitchen sink,
to keep the dog out of it while you're at work.
You refer to yourselves as Mommy and Daddy.
Your dog sleeps with you.
Poop has become a source of conversation for you and your significant other.
You can't see out the passenger side of the windshield because there are
nose-prints all over the inside.
You have 32 different names for your dog. Most make no sense, but she understands.
Your dog eats cat poop, but you still let her kiss you (but not immediately afterward, of course).
You like people who like your dog. You despise people who don't.
You carry dog biscuits in your purse or pocket at all times.
You talk about your dog the way other people talk about their kid.
You sign and send birthday/anniversary/Christmas cards from your dog.
You put an extra blanket on the bed so your dog can be comfortable.
You'd rather stay home on Saturday night and cuddle your dog than go
to the movies with your sweetie.
You go to the pet supply store every Saturday because it's one of the very
few places that lets you bring your dog inside, and your dog loves to go with you.
You open your purse, and that big bunch of baggies you use for pick-ups pops out.
You get an extra-long hose on your shower-massage just so you can use it
to wash your dog in the tub, without making the dog sit hip-deep in water.
You and the dog come down with something like flu on the same day.
Your dog sees the vet while you settle for an over-the-counter remedy from the drugstore.
Your dog is getting old and arthritic, so you go buy lumber and build her
a small staircase so she can climb onto the bed by herself.
Your license plate or license plate frame mentions your dog.
You don't think it's the least bit strange to stand in the back yard chirping
"Meg, pee!" over and over again, while Meg tends to play and forget what she's out there for
(but what your neighbors think of your behavior is yet another story).
You match your furniture/carpet/clothes to your dog.
You have your dog's picture on your office desk (but no one else's).
You lecture people on responsible dog ownership every chance you get.
You skip breakfast so you can walk your dog in the morning before work.
You are the only idiot walking in the pouring rain because your dog needs her walk.
You don't go to happy hours with co-workers any more because you need to go home and see your dog.
Your friend's dog acts as Best Dog at your wedding.
Your weekend activities are planned around taking your dog for a hike (both days).
You keep an extra water dish in your second-floor bedroom, in case your dog
gets thirsty at night (after all, her other dish is way down on the first floor...).
Your freezer contains more dog bones than anything else.
You never completely finish a piece of steak or chicken (so your dog gets a taste, too).
You shovel a zigzag path in the back yard snow so your dog can reach all her favorite spots.
You avoid vacuuming the house as long as possible because your dog is afraid
of the vacuum cleaner.
You keep eating even after finding a dog hair in your pasta.
You make popcorn just to play catch with your dog.
You carry pictures of your dog in your wallet instead of pictures of your parents,
siblings, significant other, or anyone else remotely human.
Your dog is the star of your World Wide Web site!
Your parents refer to your pet as their granddog.
You hang around the dog section of your local bookstore.
Your jewelry box contains no jewels... just those fasteners from vari-kennels.
Every time you read the name Bob, you think the guy's first name is Best of Breed.
Your house isn't carpeted--the fuzzy furballs under your feet are soft enough...
Your hungry hubby comes home from work, lifts the cover of the pan on the stove
and says, "Is this people food or dog food?"
Your hungry hubby once ate the dog food and asked for seconds.
You don't give a second thought to using the brush you just used on your dog
to give a quick run through on your own hair.
At your dinner parties, you always double check the butter before putting it on the table.
You put important papers in your latest issue of your breed magazine you
know you will find them there.
You have dog hair stuck on tape on wrapped gifts.
You have dog toys and treats in your briefcase.
You have several albums filled with the 8 by 10 pictures of your dogs but
you can't locate any pictures of your kids to send to grandma.
You show up at the car dealers with a ruler, to measure and see if your big
dog crate will fit. Before the actual purchase you make the dealer cringe
by insisting that you load both crates and dog into the shinny, new vehicle
to make sure it works!
You can't get the groceries in the car because its
A) already full of dog food
B) you have that big old crate in there.
You visit relatives only if there is a dog show nearby.
You remove all the seats from the van except the two in the front so you
have room for crates...
The passenger seat is full of dog stuff.
You cringe at the price of food in the grocery store but think nothing
of the cost of dog food or treats.
You have six squeaky hedgehogs... but only 1 with a squeaky that works.
You put popcorn in the clean dog dish for movie night.
You pull out your credit card and little bits of liver are stuck to it...
When you get your latest roll of film and there isn't a single picture
of a two-legged person in it...
People at work have stopped offering you their lint brushes; they realize
it is a hopeless case.
TONS OF DOGGY INFO
Click on the above link to visit a page I created with TONS of great doggy info!
December 24th, 2004
